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vampire_tay [userpic]

Lestat Loves The Gifts...

July 16th, 2005 (08:02 pm)

Yes that's right. Lestat loves my gifts. I'm so glad to. I got him a special made casket, cloak, and dark cherry grand piano. I also got him a ring. He loves the cloak alot. Nothing could beat anything that I have ever given him.

I had a bad dream. I told it to Lestat. He says its just a bad dream and I hope it stays that way because it really scared me.

vampire_tay [userpic]

(no subject)

May 21st, 2005 (02:25 pm)

God its been awhile since I last wrote in this thing. I don't know where to start just yet. All I know is that I need to do this more often when I have the free time.

vampire_tay [userpic]

(no subject)

April 16th, 2005 (07:15 pm)
depressed

current mood: depressed
current song: Wicked Games - H.I.M.

The girls and I have decided to go down to my pond. I'm missing Lestat so very much. My heart feels empty without him. How I long to simply be back in his arms.

I don't know quite what to say here. I've been almost lost since I volunteered to take the girls away from Louis' place to give him space.

Poor guy. He turns the woman he loves into a vampire and now she hates him. I know he feels bad about it. My sensitive emotional beloved Louis. I still love him.

vampire_tay [userpic]

Ponderings...

April 8th, 2005 (08:06 am)
curious

current mood: curious
current song: Join Me In Death - H.I.M.

It's been a long time since I wrote in this thing. Sad isn't it? Anyways, I'm finally at peace with myself and this immortality thing.

Since meeting Lestat and falling for him, things have been easier to understand. And Louis, he's special to me too. It's Lestat I love whole heartedly.

I thought I wouldn't be able to share him with his fledgelings, but I accepted it with great ease and that seems to have pleased me more than anything. I will accept any new challenge put before me coming from Lestat.

We shared an intimate moment earlier tonight. He's been bottling up his emotions. My poor angel baby. Then we shared a nice warm bath. God, I'm so in love with him. I hate that I left him and Louis alone for some down time. I felt Louis and Lestat needed a little privacy. So me, Claudia, and Sophie will be spending the next few days here in my home.

I want to feel Lestat's touch, his breath, his kiss, his love just envelope me but, like I said he needed to be with Louis.

Can love survive such a test? That's one thing that I will have to sit back and let flow on its own.

How can one muster the words to express their love for another immortal? We are basically dead in sexual ways. Mortals usually marry, and express it through love-making and starting families and what have you.

But what about us immortals? What do we have? There's the blood kiss. Though that doesn't promise the future...it is rather sexual to us.

No...I'm not trying to force Lestat to settle down with just me. I'm not holding him to me. If he wants to leave me (which I hope not), then he is more than welcome to. I know there are others of our kind out there that I could become companions with.

I still have yet to meet the great children of the millennia. That would be wonderful, but I'm just happy being with the immortals I'm with now. They are my family and that is all that matters to me right now.

vampire_tay [userpic]

Talking with Santino Pt 2

March 2nd, 2005 (07:59 am)
happy

current mood: happy
current song: Gone With the Sin - H.I.M

There was an immense moment of quietness. I was looking Santino over. I smiled softly to myself thinking of how truely beautiful he was. I wandered how anyone could actually be mad with him for believing in what he believed. I started fidgiting with my fingers. I was nervous and the quiet wasn't making anything any better. I adjusted myself to be facing him. I smiled again. He was lost in thoughts. I decided to only watch him so I propped my left arm on the back of the park bench we were sitting on and I just admired him. I was thinking alot of things. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Santino. He was the first to ever actually talk to me without totally abusing me like others did. I never understood why I allowed myself to be abused.

I reached out and took his hand in mine. I just held it within my own. I wanted to feel closer to him. At that moment a cold wind came up and sent shivers down my body. I pulled my body up into a little ball and hugged myself as if to keep warm. I put my lips to his hand and gently kissed where a beautiful ring sat on his finger. Oh if only you knew how I hated to be lonely. Just stay with me for along while. Keep me company for the rest of my days. I thought to myself.

vampire_tay [userpic]

so i can find dear santino's scene

January 17th, 2005 (11:51 pm)

http://www.livejournal.com/community/vampirerice_rpg/2012.html?view=34780#t34780

vampire_tay [userpic]

Tay from Annericerpg

January 10th, 2005 (10:33 am)
content

current mood: content
current song: Supergirl - Krystal Harris

Louis has let me go back to Lestat. He caught us kissing. I never meant to hurt either one of them. I love Lestat with all of my heart. I wouldn't throw it away for anything. Louis has gone with Pandora to find Claudia. So now its just Lestat, Nicolas and I left at Louis' house. Louis wants me to stay with him as a friend. Will he be able to find her? That I don't know.

I do know however that it has upset Lestat. He's confused. I love him so very much and if anything should harm him then I will be highly upset.

vampire_tay [userpic]

A Song Says It All...

January 4th, 2005 (03:13 pm)
blank

current mood: blank
current song: Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart

"Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart" by H.I.M.

Let me wake up in your arms
Hear you say it's not alright
Let me be self dead and gone
So far away from life
Close my eyes
Hold me tight
And bury me deep inside your heart

All I ever wanted was you, my love
You...all I ever wanted is you, my love
Your're all I ever wanted, just you

Let me never see the sun
And never see your smile
Let us be so dead and so gone
So far away from life
Just close my eyes
Hold me tight
And bury me deep inside your heart

All I ever wanted was you, my love
You...all I ever wanted is you, my love
You're all I ever wanted, you, oh my love
You're all I ever wanted, you, my love

That's the way it's always been
My heart stops beating only for you Baby
Only for your loving

All I ever wanted was you, my love
You...all I ever wanted is you, my love
You're all I ever wanted, you, my love
You're all I ever wanted, you, my love

vampire_tay [userpic]

random thoughts

December 20th, 2004 (08:40 am)
happy

current mood: happy
current song: Can't Fight The Moonlight - Coyote Ugly Soundtrack

Well I think that Louis and I are doing well. We did have a little incident that almost resulted in me leaving him. He's my world. Even more so than Lestat was althought I do love him too. I know what Louis felt. He was alone and I came along and turned him around. I got him books and candles for Christmas. I put ribbons on all the books and I even lit all the candles. He was sleeping when I did this all and I know he was so touched. I have an idea if he will let me do it. I want to take and give his daytime back to him. I want to paint the daylight for him. In his apartment. I think that that would make him very happy. I want to give him the world back. To bad I can't call that Extreme Makeover Home Edition show. But I think that if I do it all that it would mean even more to him. I have an idea of how I would like it to look.

I would bring in soft green carpet, paint grass at the base boards of the walls, draw trees and have blue skies and the sun. I know he would love it but I would have to divert him away from his home in order to do so. I would do it every night till it was finished. This would become my special gift. My home is uv protected and I know he would be safe there. Louis knows how I feel about him. We both don't want to be alone. I am wondering if we were almost meant to find each other. Its a funny thing how we met. I ran into him when I was leaving Lestat's home. Nicki had returned and I knew they needed to be alone so I walked out to go home and the way I went home, I ran into Louis. Not to mention the poor darling had ran into Claudia and it has him shook up.

Louis is a gentle soul. He's like me. He has most of his mortal emotions still. That's something I can't let go of. I was made a vampire against my will. I was taken from my parents. I've been alive almost 101 years longer than I should be. I'm 120 years old. I was ninteen when I was turned. Then my maker left me good for dead. I wandered the earth alone striving to live. Crying nightly. Now I've found someone that loves me for who I truely am. God I love him with all my heart and soul and should anything try to take him from me will have hell to deal with. I no longer wish to be a mortal. I am finally happy at last with who I truely am. Louis' emerald eyes are the key to his soul. I saw into them. I saw everything. I still don't know him fully like a wife would her husband. But there is eternity for that.

I sit here now at his place. He's occupied reading a book and I took the liberty of writing in my journal. I always take my lap top with me in case a poem strikes chord with me. I should send Lestat something for Christmas shouldn't I? After all I did spend a few nights with him and I did share something special with him. My very own blood. I can't help but wondering if Lestat would ever forgive me for running off and leaving him. He did say he was afraid to hurt me. I think I ended up being the one that hurt him. But I'm happy with Louis. He has to see that. He has to see that Louis is happy. That he's not sad as much anymore. All I want is for the three of us to get along and be happy. Is that so much to ask? Let's see. I don't know what Lestat would want for Christmas so I think I will have myself painted nude or something of that nature. Something he could have for an eternity.

Oh please let Lestat forgive me for leaving him. For now falling in love with his fledgeling Louis. I know I must have ripped his heart out. I didn't mean to. Something that haunts me til this very moment is those blue eyes. Those lips caressing mine. His blood flowing into my mouth. The confessions that I love him. They hurt me now. But he has someone in his life at the very moment. Perhaps I just don't understand this relationship he has with Nicolas. Oh what the hell. I'll always love Lestat because he was my first love. Even though the relationship never became official.

Louis should you ever read this my love. I love you with each passing day, hour, minute, and second. With each breath that I take, I take in you. I'll never ever leave you and I want you to know that. To trust me to let me into your heart. Kisses and hugs forever.

vampire_tay [userpic]

(no subject)

December 5th, 2004 (11:18 pm)
jealous

current mood: jealous
current song: Cry Little Sister - from the lost boys soundtrack

~sigh~ Lestat if only you know how much I truely love you. But you'll never know since Nicki is back into your life.

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